37 days

It's been 37 days since I posted my first (and almost my last) post. To think how quickly 37 days has gone by. I would love to sit here and tell you all about my exercise routine and about my new healthy eating lifestyle but nope, didn't happen. I just sat back and watched another 37 days of my life go by.

Ok, that's not the truth. I have changed some things in my life.

I haven't had chocolate, not a single piece.

I haven't gone to McDonald's - used to eat there a lot when schedule was crazy

Haven't done a lot of take out meals - which is something hubby and I were bad about.

I've been cooking chicken and Bocca Burgers. (we love chicken & now Bocca Burgers too)

I've been eating cereal in the mornings (special k), I never ate breakfast so this is a big step for me.

I've been drinking my water. Water is really the only thing that I ever drink. Just plain spring water but I have been having raspberry ice tea the past week, need to stop that. Sugar!


So, some changes are good. Right?

Its a start but now I have to keep moving. Speaking of Moving....

My biggest problem right now is walking. I love to walk. I love to exercise (once I get started) BUT, I am fighting something medical with my body. My joints are swollen and sore making walking actually painful. Unfortunately, I don't have insurance right now to go to the doctors.

I need to get out there and walk. My daughter made me a wonderful DVD to help me with walking and I have done it a few times but I'll be honest, I can't get past the 20 minute warm up. Its not because I'm out of breath, Its not because my heart is racing, its only because of my feet. They hurt and I have to sit down.

This weekend was a real eye opener for me. I spent most of the weekend cleaning the house and working on the yard. I was in pain. Tons of ooohhhh and owwws coming from my mouth. I haven't spent a whole day on my feet in months. Today wasn't any easier but I was once again cleaning. I'm talking washing every window inside and out, dusting the walls, ceilings, etc. It's not that my house is dirty, cause we keep it clean, its just that I made myself get up and get moving. I found things to clean, I even conquered my hubby's closet of electronic gadgets and organized the shelves in there. I must say, it looks really good too!

Tonight, I'm sitting here on the sofa sore with my feet throbbing and my hands achy but I did it. Another day of not sitting around the house but actually moving around. Tomorrow will be another day. I'll make it laundry day plus who knows what else.

This is my way of getting myself moving again and off the sofa. I might even try walking down the street just a bit and see how I feel. Who knows, I may even go around the block.

I know you are probably reading this and thinking how hard is it to walk, I mean after all we do it all the time, to get to the bathroom, to get to fridge, to get to the TV, LOL - well, for me it has become a chore. A chore that I want to enjoy again.

So step by step - I am slowly getting myself into some sort of routine.

I know how to lose weight, I want to lose weight but this time its just going to take me a bit longer.

Do You Know Me?

Do you know me?
Have we met?
Probably not, but I'm sure you have seen many others just like me.

Trust me there are tons of us out there but for some reason we seem invisible to the world. You know who I mean. It's ok to talk about it. It's ok to notice us. I know we aren't invisible even though that is what it feels like a lot. I am that overweight person that you happen to notice but try not to stare at. The one you watch at the food store, to see what we are buying, the one you watch at the fast food restaurant and observe what we are eating. We all do it, trust me, I'm overweight and I too do it. I see a heavy person and wonder ''why are they fat'', or say she/he is nice looking, too bad they are overweight. I watch what others are buying/eating. I compare myself to fat people wondering is that what I look like.

I'm not afraid to talk about being fat anymore. I'm not in denial anymore. I know what it is to be fat. I have been fat for half of my life now. Wow, its really amazing to think that half my life I have been living ''invisible'' to the world. You are probably thinking to yourself - ''Hello lady, you weren't invisible, Yoohoo, we can see you, how could we miss you!'' But, inside I was. The person that I am. I'm not talking weight, I'm talking about me as an individual. You know, the girl under the fat. Yes, there really is someone under this fat suit who is just like you.

I know what its like to be skinny, was skinny growing up, skinny when I had my child and skinny after losing over 100 pounds 3 years ago. I know how different life is for a skinny person.

I'm not skinny anymore though, hence, the Before, After, Before title. I've gone through the circle of dieting. I'm not even a Yo-Yo dieter, I'm a circle. I always start back where I began, but not this time cause I'm breaking the circle and going to make it a straight line to Forever!

It's going to be hard, it's going to seem impossible at times for me. I'm fighting my age, pre-menopause, and a few other thinks that will complicate it but not stop me. I want to enjoy life. I want to find my life.

I'm going to use this blog to moan, laugh, encourage, promote, and find myself again as I face the biggest challenge in my life.

Join me, follow me, taunt me, encourage me, every word will be read, and every word will help me achieve this goal of mine.